The freedom of a good vomit session

I implore you to keep reading. I promise this won’t get gross. And I’ll spare you a picture. It’s stomach-bug season. That’s sort-of like Passover (I’m no expert, I’m not Jewish), where the Angel of Death moves from house to...

Read More

Why I Marie Kondo-ed the family dog

For years I suffered in silence, trying to weasel out of pet ownership. Then Marie Kondo rescued me. It was time to un-adopt the dog. Because the dog did not SPARK JOY. Here’s why. Dog pee on the wall-to-wall, beige...

Read More
sparklers_flag

It’s a mad, mad world. Don’t let them win.

Be brave, y’all, because the world is a little off-kilter right now. Cherish the mundane moments with your children when life feels chaotic. The kids cannot begin to understand the turmoil and pain gripping our hearts these days.

Read More
valentines day

Can we mommas ban Valentine’s Day CARDS this year?

I’ve decided to rebel. This thing called Valentine’s Day is getting on my ever-loving last nerve. I’m not pissed that Hallmark basically made up the holiday. I couldn’t care less that it’s another excuse for my children to eat truckloads...

Read More
children kissing

Teaching your kids how to ask for consent

I’m raising white males who I hope will one day get into Princeton University and Yale Law School. (Nah, fingers crossed, they’ll get into state schools.) What’s a mom to do when she’s training up the next generation of the...

Read More
woman_standing

The truth about getting your first mammogram

Ok, all you 40-year-old ladies, raise your right arms in solidarity. Welcome to your next right of passage: the annual breast-squishing. Better known as the mammogram. I was supposed to start getting mammograms when I turned 35, but I kept...

Read More
boys playing

I bribe my children to go to bed

The boys are old enough to put themselves to bed. They’d prefer to do other things. Like yelling or legos or dance-offs or wrestling. So I bribe them. Who knew that 2 quarters could be magical? And yet that’s all...

Read More
summer boys

The big lie infertility wants you to believe

Parenting is hard, y’all. Like spin around 5 times fast and try to walk a straight line hard. Sometimes it feels impossible. But you stumble onto the floor, collect yourself and get up. Luckily these little critters are really great...

Read More
small_child_hat

10 ways to dress your kid in the morning

Parenting small children is basically an episode of Naked Survivor. You win if you manage to coerce the small children into wearing clothes. Without killing them (or yourself) in the process – that’s the survivor part. I’m in the thick...

Read More
donuts_with_butter

Doesn’t everyone like donuts with butter?

Are you a sugar-hound? Or a coffee-craver? I’m all about some sugar, y’all. (Some people drink. I do chocolate.) Especially for breakfast. Family traditions #RockStarDad is forever commenting on the amount of junk my family consumes for breakfast. Growing up,...

Read More
new mom

Please don’t take my IUD

She nodded at the new baby nuzzled at my breast and then looked me in the eye and asked, “Are you done?” YES! was my reply. Body, mind, spirit all in agreement on that. I had my two little ones...

Read More