The thing about elementary school kids is that they can read. This is equal parts awesome and sucky.
Because, even if you’re anti-screen time like me and don’t get an old school newspaper at home, you can’t completely keep your children away from the news.
Y’all, we walked into the pizza parlor for FIVE MINUTES yesterday to pick up dinner. The TV was on in the corner, with the sound off. I didn’t even notice it, til my son piped up, “Is he still the President?” And there was Trump in all his awful, orange-glow glory. Along with a helpful CNN banner that prompted my kid’s next question: “What does FALSIFY mean?”
Liar, dishonest, truthiness, inaccurate, fake news, lacking integrity, untrustworthy, wrong, cheater. So many words came to mind.
Ignoring the truth
I’d hoped we could ignore the President for four years and just go on with life. Like maybe our boys wouldn’t find out about him. Like maybe they wouldn’t notice. Like we could wait til they were taking US History in high school before we had to confront the hideous truth: that they are spending their formative years living through the dismantling of democracy and that their ever-so-capable parents can’t do much to stop it.
But one day it happened.
The older one asked, “What’s the name of the President?”
“Donald Trump.”
“Huh.” Then he turned on his best redneck impression with, “Ah lu-vuh Dawn-uhl-duh Tah-rum-puh.”
We laughed the way us east coast, liberal elites are supposed to laugh at all things redneck. (Editor’s note: I’ve got Southwestern Virginia roots. I’m basically a redneck myself.)
Mostly we laughed because we were floored by how much he’d picked up on. We neither watch TV, nor listen to NPR when the kids are around. (Because you never know when grab’ em by the pussy breaking news is gonna happen.) How did he KNOW this?
Kids are sponges. Take this account from a friend of mine with her own 5-year-old:
“Momma, I know ALL the bad words.”
“Oh?”
“Yes… Shit, damn, bitch, ass, trump.”
Not a good man
Clearly my kid had picked up some of the political nuance surrounding the President. He doesn’t know what white supremacists are, but the whole Southern accent thing was pretty telling. It was time to out The Donald to my children.
#Rock Star Dad drew a line in the sand: “He’s not a good man.”
Our sons perked up their ears. They’ve heard about bad guys. (Joker vs. Batman, anyone?) But they’ve never heard us label an ACTUAL PERSON as BAD.
“Why’s he not a good man?”
“Because he lies. All the time.”
“He lies?”
“Yes, he FALSIFIES things.”
“Like what?”
I started at the beginning. With the inauguration. With its MILLIONS, BIGGEST EVER, HISTORIC CROWD. Why lie about a thing like that? Because if you’ve got enough hubris and can get away with this, with its ridiculous hyperbole, you’ve suddenly got the green light to twist the truth about important things.
Never cry wolf
Here we are, 4 years into this mess of a presidency and Trump has told more than 13,000 lies. And some folks have even said his lies about the coronavirus now amount to genocide by policy. Harsh? Maybe, but somebody’s gotta call him out. Because lying has consequences.
My son wanted to know what the President’s friends think about this. An interesting question. We’ve been teaching that if you CRY WOLF, your friends will stop helping you. And that’s pretty much what’s happening: no one wants to be his friend. The adults in the White House are dropping like flies and ghosting on him. According to The Brookings Institution, the turnover rate for the administration is now at 80%. “Turnover” is a nice way of saying your friends think you suck.
So at least I have one thing to thank Trump for. He’s the perfect excuse for me to teach the boys that lying is wrong. I’m not talking little white lies, like telling your partner you love the ugly flowers they gave you for your birthday. Those are lies to smooth out human interactions. The intentions of those lies are GOOD.
I’m talking about important, WORLD-SHIFTING lies. Where logic is turned on its head to justify breaking down the ideals our country has attempted to extol since 1776, abandoning our allies across the globe, and turning our backs on asylum seekers.
Which leads me to this… Can we get this impeachment party started? Because the next time my kids read something on TV, I really need it to say: BAD GUYS DON’T WIN.
Are you talking to your kids about Trump? What are you telling them? Share your thoughts below or on Facebook at MothersRest.
Photo credit: giselaatje from Pixabay
I am talking, pretty much as you are. We had to start right away though – my kid’s school had a mock election in 2016. We started with the fact that he’s said he doesn’t read books. Even at 8 and 5, they could see that a leader should be a reader.
The harder question is how to deal with family members and people in town (my area is more purple than you’d expect) who support him. And, I imagine, have their own very different conversations with kids. Besides how we already do, which is by avoiding a long list of convos until we know someone is “safe.”
We do talk about two sides – and I do believe there are two sides to political issues. So we talk about the spectrum. But also about how many Republicans (they hear David Brooks, for one example) do not support him.
But that still leaves the question of what to do about those who do, and it makes me sad. I think if we keep trying to teach critical thinking and logic and facts they will be equipped to see when others are not using those tools.
Wow, your key points that “he’s said he doesn’t read books” and that “a leader should be a reader” are HUGE! Thanks for sharing your experience. And best of luck with your kiddos this fall!