The fear of missing out is definitely a thing in my house. I’m betting in yours, too. How do I know this?
Here are 7 signs your kid’s got major FOMO.
1. When you decide that everyone in the house should play “rock band.” And your kid refuses to play his guitar. Because he knows it’s a cheapo, piece-of-shit. Because who bothers to buy a 3-year-old a $500 guitar? (Don’t answer that.)
Young Jimi Hendrix wants YOUR guitar. Even though you tried to ward off such anticipated shenanigans by playing his cheapo, piece-of-shit guitar for 20 minutes before picking yours up. He will not be fooled. Clearly yours is way better.
2. When you sneak into the kitchen under the cover of darkness to eat that last brownie you hid on top of the frig. Then you make the mistake of kissing your kid good-night. And his spidey sense goes into over-drive. Suddenly your battle over bedtime turns into a battle over whether you’re a big fat liar. No, I swear, I’m not eating chocolate. And, hell no, he’s not getting a brownie. Because, duh, it’s bedtime.
3. When you give big brother medicine because he’s got an ear infection. And little brother is ranting and raving in the corner because you’ve obviously done him wrong by forgetting to also give him medicine. #FutureDrugAddict
4. When you douse your steak in wasabi. And your little guy demands equal access to the sauce. Not like he ever eats steak. Have at it! Let’s see how this plays out. #NaturalConsequences
5. When you start eating a HUGE salad full of kale and carrots and all things veggie. And kiddo carps over and over: I want some!!!! And now you’re super excited about how you’re about to win the mother-of-the-year award for using FOMO to your advantage. To get Little Miss to, just this once, eat some major veg.
But we know how this ends, right? Once you fix your little darling a bowl of her very own goodness, there’s no way in hell she will eat it.
6. When you announce to big sister that you’re getting a puppy for the fam. And little sister forgets what “for the fam” means – probably because no one actually says “for the fam.” And she starts wailing, “But where’s MY puppy?!!!!”
7. When you inform little brother that he gets to skip school today. Because he’s going to the doctor. For a flu shot. And big sis stomps around the house for hours, demanding that she go, too. Alrighty then, lady, hop in the car. It’s flu shots for everyone! #MommyWin
Seriously, FOMO rears it’s crazy head pretty much every day in my house.
Small child: “I want more toast.”
Me: “You can have another piece when you finish your eggs.”
Him, 20 minutes later: “I finished my eggs!”
Me: “Do you want another piece of toast?”
Him: “No, my tummy is full.”
Me: “Great, you can have one tomorrow for breakfast if you want.”
Him: “Ok…NO, wait! I want my piece of toast. NOW.”
Me: “Are you sure? You said your tummy is FULL. Listen to it again. What is it telling you?”
Him: “It says it wants a piece of toast.”
Me: “Really? Ok, here you go…”
Him: “YES, more toast! NO, wait! For breakfast tomorrow.”
And let’s be honest, I’ve got major FOMO, too. Because I totally will cut you if you eat the last brownie on top of the frig. It’s mine, I tell you!
Um, maybe that means I don’t have FOMO. Maybe I’m just a food hoarder. So, ok, can we split it?
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Photo credit: Hiva Sharifi on Unsplash.com