You know that feeling you get when you realize today’s the day for your annual trip to the lady-doctor? A bit nauseated thinking about what might be on the agenda or terrified you forgot to shave your legs or pissed that you ate an extra bean burrito last night?
No worries, girl, we all feel that way. But ever since I had a child, I feel way less stressed about seeing the OB/GYN (plus, he’s a major hotty) than I did pre-kiddo.
Think about it: when you’re pregnant, everyone and their freaking mother sees your junk. They’re all up in your business 24/7.
(And don’t get me started on the random strangers on the street who think it’s “totally cool” to feel up your swollen tummy.)
Privacy? That word doesn’t even exist!
Basically, being pregnant means your body is common property. No longer just your own.
And then the doc piles on the questions…How’s your hoo-ha doing? Grown any extra hair/skin tags/weird stuff? Do your breasts hurt? Are they starting to swell? Does baby move a lot?
Oh, since we’re on the subject, baby needs to move in this ultrasound picture so let’s just shove your stomach really hard in the opposite direction to irritate the crap out of it!
I mean, hello!?
Going to the lady-doctor now for a 5-minute invasion is way easier than any other doctor visit. After having my daughter, I’d rather go get felt up by the OB/GYN than go to the dentist. Seriously. I am not even kidding.
Besides, with children around and after working all day, who wants to schedule a little “special time” with the hubs?
In my book, going to the gynecologist is my sex-for-the-day.
Did I mention that my doc is some decent looking eye candy? No joke, I feel like Rachel from Friends when she’s pregnant and has a majorly attractive OB.
So, the next time you have your annual exam and you’re dreading the pelvic invasion and breast squishing, remember that you’re a hell of a lot better off than those pregnant women in the waiting room. Just relax, enjoy the attention and have a little (woohoo!) fun.
Because your body is finally all yours again.
And stop worrying about your hairy legs. Believe me, your lady-doctor has seen way worse.
Share your fun tips for the (woohoo!) lady doctor visit below or on Facebook at MothersRest.
About the guest blogger:
Sarah, my amazing friend, is a classically-trained singer, dog aficionado and mom of a red-haired, French beauty who just turned 7.
Photo credit: Onlyyouqj from Freepik.com