You guys, I am nostalgic all over the place right now. Who remembers the Sears and JCPenney toy catalogues that arrived during November back in the day?
So I got a little weirdly touched when we found the Amazon toy catalogue in the mailbox. I mean, its soul purpose is to get me to buy a bunch of junk for my kids. If you’ve seen my house, you’d agree that my kids don’t need another gadget. But Christmas is coming!
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Join me on a trip down memory lane.
1. Stickers
When I was eight, stickers were life. I emptied my piggy bank one day to buy my little brother, sick with the flu, some dog and cat stickers. I’m pretty sure I made him give them back to me once he got better.
My mother got tired of my constant want for stickers. So when the JCPenney toy catalogue arrived that winter, she gave me a roll of contact paper and a pair of scissors and taught me to make my own puffy stickers. I cut out pictures from the catalogue – things like cookware or floral bedspreads or tiger stuffed animals. Then I crumpled up some paper scraps for backing and attached everything together with the contact paper, plus a little extra on top that extended beyond the edges of the favored object. Voila, homemade stickers. They were pretty horrid. But it kept me busy for a while.
Anyway, the Amazon people know what kids like: Mickey Mouse and STICKERS! So they included an entire page of them. And as you can see, my kiddos are enjoying them. (I’m betting the missing reindeer is stuck to the underside of the couch.)
2. Barbie dream house
Were you one of those lucky girlies who got the Barbie dream house when you were little? I hate you. I’m 42 and still jealous. I’ll get over it. Maybe.
My friend Sarah had one – or was it the Barbie pop-up camper? I can’t quite remember. But I coveted it. At least she let me play with it – sometimes. My parents tried to placate me by building a bookcase in the shape of a house, complete with roof and room partitions and doors tall enough for Barbie to walk right through. I was an ingrate, not particularly impressed. Although these days, that “doll house” sits proudly in my son’s room, transformed into a fire station. Because my parents still know how to delight small people.
I’m a #BoyMom which means I’m never gonna get that Barbie dream house. I’m not old-school stereotyping, I’m just calling my boys’ interests as I see ’em. And Barbies aren’t in the mix. So for now I’m left to gaze longingly at the Amazon toy catalogue to get my fix.
3. Chemistry set
I wanted a chemistry set like nobody’s business. Maybe even more than the Barbie dream house. Alas, I never got one – probably because my mom was afraid I’d blow stuff up. (Why else do you get one?)
Instead, she got me a boring ole microscope. Did I mention I was an ingrate? I mean, you had to be extra patient to find things tiny enough to smash onto the little glass slides. Like ants and shit. Or pine needles. There were no potions involved.
I do remember getting a skeleton model, like the one in the catalogue. It was a lady one. Because it had a womb, complete with a baby skeleton you could remove. Yes, it was beyond creepy. And this may explain why I avoid the anatomy section of the local science center like the plague. I don’t care that my children might LEARN SOMETHING. Skeleton womb-babies are disturbing.
Since we’re talking about science things, I also wanted a rock tumbler. Which Amazon doesn’t include in the catalogue. Which means they know the truth about these things. If you have a rock tumbler, you need rocks typically smallish in size that will probably just end up on the floor for your mother to trip over. You also need jewelry accessories on which to display your creations that you will want to give to your mother. And she really won’t be that excited about 20 semi-polished, mostly still jaggedy rock necklaces. Thank you, Amazon, for saving me from myself and not introducing such horror to my children. I don’t need them to need that hobby.
4. Legos and Bears
The funnest part about the Amazon toy catalogue is that my kids are TOTALLY INTO IT. I tried to hide it. Because: consumption and consumerism. But they pulled it out of the recycle pile. Because #1 above: STICKERS! And they have poured over every page. Which is what gave me all the nostalgia feels.
There are dragons and legos and lego dragons. And super heros and Lite Brite. And play dough and the boardgame Clue – can you get anymore old school than that?
And also bears. Which inspired my oldest to get out his art supplies and draw his own version. If a toy catalogue can inspire imagination and play in the moment, without the actual toys on hand, I’d say it’s worth a look.
Bravo, Amazon! May you use my hard-earned cash for good.
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ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS
I’m excited to share that Triad Moms on Main has featured this story on their blog: Anyone Else Missing the Sears Toy Catalog this Christmas?.