Here’s your recipe for success in the hetero, white man’s world.
Change your name to “John” (if you wanna be CEO) and CONFORM. Oh, and wear makeup. (Something I haven’t done in 10 years.) Because guys only take us girlies seriously if we look 39-42 years old. (Since I’m now in the over-40-club, I should be totally killin’ it sans makeup.)
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Conformity. Makeup. Such are the things Sylvia Ann Hewlett counsels in her popular book, Executive Presence.
No, thanks!
Ok, ok, I did get one helpful tidbit from sloughing through her treatise. Standing up straight is some confidence-boosting shit. (Didn’t your mom tell you this your entire life? Momma’s always right.)
If you wanna know why you need to straighten up those shoulders, young lady, let me introduce you to Amy Cuddy, my new hero. Her book, Presence: Bringing your boldest self to your biggest challenges, is actually worth the read. Plus, she’s all about being authentically YOU – none of this conformity crap.
Cuddy says you should totally stand up straight and tall –
Strike a power pose
Here’s all you need to do to get your power pose on.
1. Spread your feet hip-distance apart.
2. Prop your hands on your hips.
3. Hang out there and breathe for the next two minutes.
You feel great, yes?
New party trick! Confidence is totally pouring out of your perfect 39-to-42-year-old pores! You’ve just tapped your inner zen. Not even your kid’s next tantrum can take you down.
Bonus, y’all: the power pose makes you look larger than life. Which is good if you’re only 5’3″ like me and refuse to wear heels. Because Sylvia Ann Hewlett will also tell you that guys like their ladies tall.
Boost your confidence
You know that woman at work/school/church/playgroup you kinda hate because she makes life look easy? She’s got easy, breezy hair. Easy, fashionista flair. Always says the right thing. And has that total je ne sais quoi. (Ooh, la la.)
I like to think she’s a power pose convert. Otherwise, she’s beyond us mere mortals and I get why she gets under your skin.
How about tapping into some of her essence and working to boost your own confidence? It IS possible. Cuddy says you can fake it til you become it. In other words, ACT confident and you might just FEEL confident.
The power pose will help you out. So let’s practice that again, shall we?
Ok, feet squarely planted on the ground, shoulders back, chest all puffed out proud. You got it, girl!
The body benefits
The power pose has got it all. First, there’s the confidence-boosting, mental health benefits. Then there’s the body benefits.
When you’re all in with the power pose, your body is lovin’ life. Your muffin top can’t squish your lungs anymore (maybe that’s just me). Which means your lungs’ve got more room to expand inside your rib cage. Which means more oxygen flows to your brain. Which means your brain gets to do the happy dance.
Oxygen is brain food. The more you can boost your oxygen levels, the more productive you can be at home and at the office (if we ever get to go back to the office).
This is also why I LOVE my standing desk – it’s like I’m power posing ALL DAY LONG. I think Amy Cuddy would approve.
What do you think? Is it time to strike another power pose?
Now, stand strong and tall. Hands on hips, Wonder Woman. Lookin’ good!
While you’re at it, teach the kiddos how to power pose, too. To help them ward off the bullies. And go give your own momma a kiss for resisting the urge to name you “John.” Because we ladies will eventually run the “Johns” out of the C-suite.
Share your power pose stories below or on Facebook at MothersRest.
Photo credit: Godisable Jacob from Pexels
ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS
I’m loving all the power pose stories readers are sharing
I have my students do this before every performance. It makes a difference!
— Marjorie, violin professor
I watched Amy Cuddy’s Ted talk last week with some students. The Wonder Woman pose is very helpful. I did a somewhat Wonder Woman pose in class twice on Monday. Some of the students might have been surprised but most know me well enough by now to have shared in my excitement when I figured out the answer to two different problems without a calculator.
— Julie, chemistry professor
Isaac’s 4th grade teacher used power poses before the EOG’s in his all-boy class. They loved it. They each came up with their own pose.
— Nancy, elementary school media specialist/librarian