young kids sitting

The joys and crazy of two kids under two

Four years ago, I called my sister-in-law and announced we were “ONE AND DONE!” Because sleep deprivation is hell. Also because when our miracle baby turned one, the stomach bug to end all stomach bugs entered our lives. Y’all, this...

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Why I Marie Kondo-ed the family dog

For years I suffered in silence, trying to weasel out of pet ownership. Then Marie Kondo rescued me. It was time to un-adopt the dog. Because the dog did not SPARK JOY. Here’s why. Dog pee on the wall-to-wall, beige...

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sparklers_flag

It’s a mad, mad world. Don’t let them win.

Be brave, y’all, because the world is a little off-kilter right now. Cherish the mundane moments with your children when life feels chaotic. The kids cannot begin to understand the turmoil and pain gripping our hearts these days.

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valentines day

Can we mommas ban Valentine’s Day CARDS this year?

I’ve decided to rebel. This thing called Valentine’s Day is getting on my ever-loving last nerve. I’m not pissed that Hallmark basically made up the holiday. I couldn’t care less that it’s another excuse for my children to eat truckloads...

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children kissing

Teaching your kids how to ask for consent

I’m raising white males who I hope will one day get into Princeton University and Yale Law School. (Nah, fingers crossed, they’ll get into state schools.) What’s a mom to do when she’s training up the next generation of the...

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boys playing

I bribe my children to go to bed

The boys are old enough to put themselves to bed. They’d prefer to do other things. Like yelling or legos or dance-offs or wrestling. So I bribe them. Who knew that 2 quarters could be magical? And yet that’s all...

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small_child_hat

10 ways to dress your kid in the morning

Parenting small children is basically an episode of Naked Survivor. You win if you manage to coerce the small children into wearing clothes. Without killing them (or yourself) in the process – that’s the survivor part. I’m in the thick...

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boys on slide

I don’t have a transgender child, but…

We were at a birthday party. Full of little kids. Both boys and girls. And there was a candy necklace contest. Where each kid got a string and a HUGE pile of miniature candy donuts to decorate it with. The...

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